I wont say anything at all
by Sukichan111
Summary: Pretty little Kaoru with his head held so high taking crap he shouldnt half to even his brother beats the crap out of him what happens when this changed and he cant hold back the tears and relizes he loves Hikaru...minor tamakao...HIKAKAO!
1. pretty kaoru with his head held high

_Twins are in middle school age 13_

_Kaoru was being tormented again._

_Looked like about 3 boys were about to beat him up again._

_Do I care? No._

_What amazed me was that he kept his head held so high._

_I was never harassed like that and I never held my head so high._

_Kaoru and I were never really close._

_I never cared for him._

_He didn't even let out a scream as he took a punch to the face._

_I smirked._

_I rested my hand on my friends shoulder._

_He was the one who had just hit Kaoru._

_Kaoru looked up at me two other boys holding his hands behind his back._

_"My turn" I smirked._

_Kaoru closed his eyes and turned his head away._

_I thrust my fist into his stomach._

_He didn't yelp or show his pain._

_"Will you just scream already" I hissed slapping him good and hard in the face._

**_Kaoru's POV_**

_I shook my head "I won't c-cry for you" I whispered._

_He threw another punch this one landed in my left eye._

_I flinched._

_"That's enough" Hikaru called off the other boys and walked away as I fell to my knees._

_I wanted to cry but refused._

_I stood on shaking legs._

_A hand caught my right arm._

_I turned and saw Tamaki smiling sweetly._

_"They are mean aren't they" he smiled._

_"I'm not some fan girl" I reminded him._

_"Indeed" the blond threw an arm around my shoulders._

_We walked to lunch._

_I sat with Tamaki and Kyoya as always._

_I looked up._

_My brother walked into the cafeteria._

_I almost wanted to speak to him._

_In truth I always wondered why he hated me._

_Tamaki walked me to the limo._

_I scooted in next to Hikaru._

_I avoided his eyes._

_"Kaoru" his voice was shaken._

_"HM" I whispered._

_"How do you do that" he asked softly._

_"What" I still didn't look at him._

_"Keep your head held so high even when everyone knocks you down" He finished._

_"You're one of those people" I reminded him._

_I heard a breath escape his pale lips._

_For just a second I looked over to him._

_Then I shifted my gaze back to the window._

_"Kaoru" He whispered again._

_"HM" I grunted softly._

_"Don't ever think I don't…..love you" he wouldn't look at me as he spoke._

_"To late" I whispered getting out and walking into the house._

_He followed._

_"Hey Kaoru" Mom kissed my forehead._

_Then she did the same to Hikaru._

_He wasted no time in following me to my room._

_"Night" I whispered "I've got home work" I noted._

_He stared at me for a second._

_Then he left the door way._

_I didn't get him talking to me today, that's the first time in a long time._

_Normally he's just beating me up with his friends._

_I never tell though, I never cry, or yelp in pain._

_I never will._

_No tears will fall from my eyes._

_Hikaru's POV_

_To be honest I don't know why I said any of it._

_I just needed him to know for some reason._

_He needed to know I do care._

_I walked silently through the dark hall and opened Kaoru's door._

_He was asleep on the computer desk._

_Kaoru's dream_

_Hikaru was crying into his hands._

_"Kaoru's missing" his mom whispered._

_Hikaru's eyes were full of fear._

_"Tamaki, Kaoru's gone" he tried to get almost everyone's attention._

_But no one else cared._

_"Kaoru" he cried._

_"I'm here" I tried for his attention._

_He couldn't hear me._

_"Hikaru" I screamed._

**_End of Dream_**

_My golden eyes popped open._


	2. My drug, my obsession

_Tears fell down my cheeks. _

_I hid my face in both hands._

_I cried._

_Thin arms flew around my shoulders._

_I looked up._

_Hikaru had pulled me into a warm embrace._

_"w-what" I whispered through my tears._

_"Kaoru d-don't cry" he whispered._

_"I had a nightmare" I sobbed into his shirt._

_Then I remembered today and pushed away._

_"GO AWAY" I screamed through my tears._

_He stared at me._

_"GO" I screamed again._

_"Kaoru I was only trying to help" he whispered._

_"I don't need your help, you're not there when I need it" I hissed whipping my tears away with my blanket._

_"I'm sorry" he whispered._

_"Your-"he cut me off._

_"The worst brother ever" I yelled._

_"I know" He smiled faintly._

_I covered my head and decided to ignore him._

_When I woke up the next day I saw Tamaki first thing._

_He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me for a moment._

**_Hikaru's POV_**

_My brother was leaned over the windowsill with his arms folded._

_His eyes were so far off._

_It made me wanna know more about him._

_I wanted to know what was behind those eyes. _

_I wanted to walk over to him._

_Kaoru and I used to be close but it's all gone now._

_As kids we were inseparable._

_He turned and walked past me._

_That blond idiot took my Kao in his arms._

_I hated when that happened._

_I hated the way he smiled at the idiot of a soon to be host club king._

_I sat down where Kaoru had been sitting._

_My head hurt._

_Honestly the reason I hurt Kaoru like I do now….is truly selfish._

_He's so beautiful when he's mad._

_Honesty._

_He slaps me and I love him more and more._

_The pain is like flirting._

_I punch him and he gets fired up._

_Then he's just flat out HOT._

_I looked up and saw Tamaki and my twin laughing._

_Kaoru is the only one I care about really._

_I don't mean to hurt him but…_

_It's like our oath of pain._

_Like a drug._

_My brother is my drug my sick obsession._

_I think I need some rehab._

_I looked up and saw my brother smiling at me._

_I shook my head and realized I was only seeing an illusion._

_"I need to get some sleep" I muttered hitting myself in the head._

**_Kaoru's POV_**

_"Kaoru baby" Tamaki looked at me sweetly._

_"What, and don't talk to me like that" I blushed lightly._

_"I love ya Kao" the blond cupped my cheek in his hand._

_I stared at him like he was crazy._

_"I want to be with you, I won't hurt you like he did" Tono promised. _

_I knew he wouldn't hurt me._

_Hey Hikaru makes me sick lately_

_"Your everything I ever wanted" he whispered._

_I blushed._

_"Tono" I whispered._


	3. I need you to i really really do

**_"Tono" _**_Kaoru blushed._

_The blond panicked, what if Kao said no._

_"Tono I" Kaoru was interrupted by the blond's lips crashing down on his._

_Kaoru's eyes were wide with shock._

_Hikaru was staring at them from the window._

_"Kaoru" he whispered "I'm sorry"_

_Kaoru saw Hikaru in the window and a silent tear made its way down his cheek._

_Tamaki pulled away._

_"Well Kao are you mine" The blond asked softly._

_Kaoru looked into his soft blue eyes._

_"He's gonna say yes" Hikaru gasped._

_With that 13 year old Hikaru carried his slender body down the steps as fast as he could._

_As Kaoru's mouth opened Hikaru could see him._

_"KAORU" He screamed "Don't say anything…anything at all" Hikaru finished panting._

_Kaoru was mad now._

_"Why" he asked harshly._

_"Because…..I…..I…" Kaoru cut him off._

_"What you love me? You beat me up every day now you wanna say you love me" kaoru hissed._

_"NO" Hikaru slammed his fist into the wall._

_"Kaoru it's not love….it's a way of life…..I need you kaoru" Hikaru whispered seriously. _

_Kaoru in truth wanted to hold him._

_He wanted to tell the truth and say he needed him more._

_Hikaru tugged on Kaoru's hand._

_Kaoru pulled away instantly._

_He loved Hikaru to but wouldn't give him that after these past few years._

_"Tamaki" kaoru said softly._

_The blond looked up._

_"My answer is yes" Kaoru smiled at him._

_Hikaru's eyes grew wide._

_Tamaki led Kaoru away by the hand._

_Hikaru fell to his knees "I lost him" he whispered._


	4. why is happiness so empty

**_After high school, Hikaru and Kaoru are now 19_**

_Tamaki and I moved out a long time ago a year to be exact._

_Hikaru hasn't spoken me since that day so long ago._

_I walked down our large corridor._

_I looked at the picture of the host club on the wall._

_I remember a long time ago when Hikaru would have been next to me in that picture instead of it being Tamaki._

_Sometimes I missed him._

_I wanted to feel him hold me._

_I wanted him to wipe my tears away like he did that night I had that bad dream._

_Now it was really like he was missing._

_Tamaki's lips broke me from my thoughts._

_"Hello my love" the blond smiled kissing my forehead._

_"Hello" I nodded._

_"Someone's doing too much thinking again" Tamaki smirked._

_"Am not" I protested._

_He picked me up and spun me around._

_We both laughed._

_Was this happiness…..and if it is….why is it so….empty._

_I sat on the front porch steps._

_I missed kaoru like hell._

_Sometimes I'm not sure how I breathe without him._

_I hate Tamaki for taking him._

_I put my cigarette out and walked back inside the house._

_After he left I started doing drugs and cutting myself._

**_AHHHHH_**_ I heard a maid scream._

_I ran to her side._

_"What is it" I asked softly._

_"Your father is dead" she cried into her hands._

_Turned out dad had a massive heart attack._

_The funeral was in two weeks._

_Would kaoru be there?_

_Would he want to see me?_

_Dose he miss me like I miss him?_


	5. I'm sorry

_Hikaru went to bed with his thoughts that night._

_A sweet sent filled the room._

_The scent of vanilla and strawberries._

_Hikaru's golden eyes opened_

_He sat up lazily shifting all his wait onto his elbow._

_"Morning brother" Kaoru's sweet voice came from the door way._

_Hikaru looked tiredly at him._

_"K-Kaoru" he yawned "w-why am I so tired" he finished._

_"It's 4 am" Kaoru noted._

_"You came so early" Hikaru yawned stretching his arms._

_Kaoru sat down on the ledge of the bed._

_"The plane landed about a half hour ago. So here I am" kaoru whispered staring at his feet._

_Hikaru's vision came into focus._

_Kaoru was wearing black jeans and a white vest lined with blue on the rim._

_"Go back to bed Hikaru" Kaoru smiled._

_Hikaru wasn't sure why but he hooked an arm around Kaoru's waist and yanked him down next to him._

_"You must be tired to" Hikaru whispered._

_Kaoru blushed "I'll sleep on the couch"_

_"Nope" Hikaru locked his grip on Kaoru's waist and pulled him close._

_Kaoru relaxed in his brother's warm arms and fell asleep._

_The only sound in the room was their hearts pounding against their chest._

_At the Funeral _

_Kaoru rested his white flower gently by his father's picture and with tears in his honey colored said his last goodbye._

_Hikaru on the other hand wasn't crying and didn't give a flower._

_Hikaru just stayed upstairs._

______________________________________LATER_

_Kaoru walked up the steps and into the room._

_Hikaru was playing a video game._

_"Kaoru" He muttered._

_Kaoru pulled his shirt off at the mirror._

_"What is it" he whispered._

_"Are you going back to him" Hikaru asked softly._

_"Well" there was a long pause "yeah" kaoru said dragging his pants down._

_Hikaru growled under his breath._

_Kaoru pulled on some sweats and a holed T-shirt._

_Then he climbed into bed next to Hikaru._

_Hikaru turned and wrapped his strong arms around Kaoru's shoulders._

_'I'm sorry for those years in middle school" he cried. _

_Koaru's eyes grew wide. _

_Hikaru wasn't one for saying sorry._

_"If I could make it up to you Kaoru I would" Hikaru cried harder._

_"Why" Kaoru hissed._

_Hikaru stared into his eyes._

_"Because-"kaoru cut him off._

_"Let me guess you love me" he said with venom in his stare._


	6. Kaoru's mistake one week

_"Yes" Hikaru cupped his cheek in his hand._

_Kaoru pulled away "Prove it" Kaoru hissed._

_Hikaru bit his bottom lip._

_Then he lightly touched his lips to Kaoru's._

_For kaoru such a little touch brought such heat he needed more._

_Kaoru moved closer and put more pressure on Hikaru's lips._

_Hikaru fingers tangled in Kaoru's hair._

_Kaoru's arms wrapped themselves around Hikaru's neck._

_The kiss just kept deepening._

_Hikaru's tongue invaded Kaoru's mouth._

_Kaoru did the same with Hikaru._

_Hikaru dragged Kaoru's sweat pants down around his ankles._

_Hikaru had been shirtless to begin with._

_Not wanting to break the kiss he found a hole in Koaru's T-shirt and ripped his open._

_Their hands roamed the others torso as if they didn't know it by heart._

**_RING… RING… RING… RING_**

_Kaoru picked up his cell phone._

_"Oh…T-Tono" Kaoru whispered saying hello._

_Hikaru sat up and scowled at Kaoru._

_"No I'm okay" kaoru smiled softly._

_"I miss you to see ya in a week…..I…love you to" kaoru said weakly._

_"Sorry that wasn't right" Kaoru shook his head pulling his pants back up._

_"Kaoru" Hikaru whispered._

_"I'm leaving in a week" Kaoru whispered._


	7. Mother's song for her crying son

_"Why one week" Hikaru whispered softly._

_"Hikaru" Kaoru breathed holding up his left hand._

_Hikaru stared at the large diamond ring on his ring finger._

_"Getting married….to Tono" Kaoru finished._

_"Hikaru turned around and left the room._

_"But….." kaoru said to thin air…"I need you" Kaoru whispered as a silent tear made its way down his pale cheek._

_Hikaru stormed down the steps and slammed his fist into the kitchen wall._

_"H-Hikaru" a faint voice came from behind him._

_"Mom" he growled._

_"Maybe it's best if Kaoru leaves sooner" she whispered._

_"No….no…no I can handle it" Hikaru whispered._

_His mom walked over to him without a sound._

_She smiled at him sweetly and whipped his tears away._

_She pulled Hikaru into her thin arms and they both fell to the floor._

_Hikaru buried his face into her neck and cried._

_"Sh" she stroked his hair softly._

_"Cover my eyes cover my ears tell me these words are a lie it can't be true _

_That I'm losing you sun can not fall from the sky_

_Can you hear heaven cry the tears of angel?_

_Stop every clock the stars in shock the river won't run to the sea I won't_

_Let you fly I won't say goodbye I won't let you slip away from me "she sang beautifully and softly pulling her crying son closer_

_"Can you hear heaven cry the tears of an angel…I'm here don't you fear little one don't let go_

_Cover my eyes cover my ears tell these words are a lie" she finished and whipped her sons tears from his eyes._


	8. i shouldnt but i love you

Hikaru wiped his tears away and walked up the steps.

"Kaoru" he called with a harsh tone in his voice.

Kaoru opened the door.

He was in his sweat pants again.

As Hikaru closed the door he locked it.

"Has he been brave enough yet" Hikaru growled.

Kaoru stared then understanding the question he shook his head. "No"

Hikaru locked his arms around Kaoru's waist.

He pressed Kaoru's head against his chest.

"I love you" the red head kissed the top of his brothers head.

Kaoru nodded.

He'd liked kissing Hikaru.

"Let me show you" Hikaru growled slamming his lips down onto Kaoru's.

Kaoru moaned into the kiss.

He blushed.

Hikaru invaded Kaoru's mouth with his tongue.

When Kaoru's tongue picked up pace with Hikaru's he didn't care what was going on with anyone else.

Hikaru lifted Kaoru's legs around his waist and carried him over to the bed.

"I love you" Hikaru nipped at Kao's ear.

"I love you too" Kaoru breathed.

Hikaru licked around the base of the red head's neck.

Hikaru dragged Kaoru's sweat pants off his boxers came off with them.

Hikaru smiled.

A little less work.

Kaoru blushed as Hikaru stared at him.

"You've seen it" Kaoru muttered.

"Yes" Hikaru started "In middle school"

Kaoru scoffed "and in the mirror"

Kaoru's eyes closed as Hikaru slowly ran his tongue along his waist line.

He remembered that day in middle school.

_Flash back age 14_

_"Mmm Hikaru" Kaoru moaned into Hikaru's kiss._

_Hikaru lifted Kaoru against the closet wall._

_Kaoru's shirt like Hikaru's was unbuttoned and his pants around his ankles but his boxers still up._

_"I love you" Hikaru smiled softly moving Kaoru's bangs out of his face._

_"I love you too"_

_Another soft kiss._

_Kaoru had always had his head held high._

_Always._

_Hikaru had always loved that about him._

_Every day he apologized this way, for hurting him._

_As Kaoru re buttoned his shirt he whispered "You don't love me, this is just so I'll forgive you every day._

_I know I'm right. It's time it's stopped" he was dressed then he was gone._

_Flashback over._

Kaoru's eyes opened and he pulled Hikaru closer and whispered "I shouldn't but I love you."

Kaoru woke up in Hikaru's bare arms.

Pressed against his bare body.

Sweating.

His phone rang.

"Hello baby" Tamaki smiled.

Kaoru shook his head "Not now" and hung up.


	9. the truth to why i hurt you

Kaoru was now dressed and sitting on the front porch.

He breathed still trying to deal with the stupid thing he did last night.

"Okay" he sighed "problem one…I'm an idiot….problem two….I'm in love with Hikaru and I'm getting married to Tamaki….problem three GOD IM AN IDIOT" he whined.

He stared at his feet "what do I do".

"You leave that sucker and be with me" Hikaru sat down next to him handing him a can of pop.

Kaoru rolled his eyes.

"I can't just…" Kaoru's voice trailed off.

Hikaru lifted Kaoru's chin so he could look into his golden eyes "Kaoru I love you" he kissed his twins forehead.

"You beat me for years in middle school" Kaoru hissed.

"I'm sorry…I mean it….Kaoru I did it because…" his voice trailed off.

"Why" Kaoru glared at him.

"Because I wanted you and he had you" Hikaru spouted out.

Kaoru's eyes grew wide "we weren't always together when you beat me"

"But you always wanted him" Hikaru yelled.

Kaoru was shocked…..he wasn't expecting that to come out of Hikaru's mouth.

"You only ever showed emotion with him….I wanted it like it was" Hikaru sobbed into Kaoru's shirt "when you only ever showed emotion with me" he cried more.

Kaoru pulled him close.

He realized that he'd painted his brother into a corner back then.

That Hikaru just wanted him back….that he loved him.

Hikaru looked up into Kaoru's eyes.

Kaoru kissed his lips softly.

Hikaru smiled "I love you Kaoru" and Kaoru wiped his twin's tears away.

"I love you to" Kaoru smiled back.

"I'm sorry" Hikaru sat up.

"For last night?" Kaoru raised an eyebrow.

"Oh hell no, for hurting you back then. I don't care what you say I'll never be sorry for last night" Hikaru laughed.

Kaoru rolled his eyes but broke out laughing himself "I forgive you" he punched his brother in the arm.

"OW Kao what was that for" Hikaru whined rubbing at his arm.

"You were being a jerk" Kaoru smiled cutely.


	10. a whole new problem

Hikaru smiled at Kaoru's very cute laugh. "do you regret it" Hikaru whispered. "No" Kaoru shook his head. Hikaru smirked. "No regrets huh?"

"None….in fact I liked it" Kaoru blushed. "You liked what" Hikaru breathed his his baby brother's ear. Kaoru blushed a deeper shade of red "The feel of your hands on me" his face turned an even deeper shade of red.

"Like this" hikaru ran his hand up undernreath his brothers shirt and let it roam kaoru's upper body. Kaoru moaned from just that. Hikaru nipped at his ear and licked all over the shell of kaoru's ear.

Kaoru jumped up and backed against the front door "Not on the front porch" he breathed. Hikaru smirked and pulled kaoru into his arms. The elder red head slammed his lips down on to his twins. Kaoru moaned when Hikaru's tongue entered his mouth.

The younger red head wrapped one arm around Hikaru's neck and let the other roam around behind his back until it gripped the door handel.

Kaoru twisted the handel and it opened. Hikaru lifted Kaoru's legs around his waist and with out breaking the kiss moved into the nearest room with a door.

Kaoru opened his eyes as Hikaru sat him down on the ledge of the sink. The bathroom. Hikaru pushed his lips back down on to Kaoru's. "what do you want Kaoru" Hikaru moaned into his brothers ear.

"Oh god" kaoru moaned as Hikaru's hand found the buldge in his jeans. "tell me what you want baby brother" Hikaru demanded.

"Put your hands on me" kaoru moaned softly as a pale shade of pink dusted his cheeks. Hikaru pealed Kaoru's shirt away from hid torso and kaoru removed Hikaru's shirt.

As Hikaru kissed kaoru and re-invaded his mouth with his warm tongue he felt his baby brothers hands slip down the back of his pants and right into his boxers.

Hikaru lifted Kaoru from the sink and pushed his back against the shower wall. Hikaru used his teeth and pulled Kaoru's pants zipper down and removed any clothing Kaoru was still wearing.

Hikaru took all of Kaoru's hard member into his mouth and sucked hard as precum dripped from it.

Kaoru moaned and gripped a handful of his brothers hair. It felt so damned good. Hikaru's tongue swirled around the tip making Kaoru shiver in pleasure.

Hikaru stopped and moved back up to Kaoru's lips and kissed him roughly. Kaoru got down on his knees in front of Hikaru. He'd forgotten Tamaki at this point….there was only Hikaru.

His fingers fumbeled as he worked to undo Hikaru's pants zipper. "Use your mouth and suck me hard" Hikaru moaned with some demand in his voice.

Koaru did as he was told and Hikaru was loudly moaning his name. Kaoru moaved back up to his twins lips "sh….mom will hear you" Kaoru kissed him softly.

Hikaru quickly turned Kaoru over so he was leaning over the sink facing the mirror. Hikaru wasted no time thrusting into him.

This was still new to Kaoru and it still hurt "Its hurts" kaoru said as tears started to fall from his golden eyes. Hikaru leaned over and kissed his cheek "just relax my love". He felt kaoru clam down not to long after.

He started to move in and out of his twin slowly. Kaoru grew very impationt he wanted more it felt so good. "Fuck me Hikaru" he moaned "do me like the devil" he begged.

Hikaru smirked and began thrusting as hard and as fast as he could. He hit Kaoru's prostate eachtime as he pumped his brother.

Kaoru came into Hikaru's hand. Hikaru moaned and licked his fingers but kept thrusting and pumping kaoru with the other hand.

Hikaru releaed inside Kaoru and kaoru screamed his name.

Not bothering to pull out of Kaoru Hikaru relaxed against him and smiled into his ear "I love you"

Kaoru smiled and out the corner of his eye looked at Hikaru "I love you-" he was cut off by his phone ringing in his pants pocket on the floor.

Tamaki had just been placed back in Kaoru's head. Hikaru pulled away and Kaoru picked his phone up and answered it.

"hello" he whispered. "hello my love" Tamaki chimed "how are you".

"Im okay" Kaoru shook his head as he spoke. "Ill be seeing you soon and I miss you so very much" the blond smiled. "Miss you to" Kaoru whispered as he burst into tears. "Kaoru what is it lover" Tamaki gasped.

Hikaru wrapped his arms around Kaoru and pulled him close "sh…sh…sh"

"Kaoru you must be upset over your father…I knew i shouldn't have let you go alone" Tamaki whispered. Kaoru continued to sob. "well that's it then" Tamaki smiled "Ill come and stay with you until its time for us to come back home".

Kaoru dropped the phone and it smashed against the floor. This was gonna be a huge problem. Hikaru had heard what Tamaki said and was also in shock.

It wasn't hard to believe seeing as he was holding Tamaki's fiance nude in his arms.

Yes this was a whole new problem.


	11. i dont know anymore

The next morning Kaoru woke up early and he cleaned himself up and pulled on some jeans and a gray sweater that said NewYork in bold letters across the chest.

He walked down the steps he'd heard the limo pull up.

The blond stepped out and pulled Kaoru into his arms and kissed him softly on the lips.

To Kaoru the blonds kiss tasted bitter. He faked a smile when Tamaki pulled away.

Hikaru walked out in his boxers and ran his fingers through his messy red hair. Kaoru giggled softly. Tamaki raised an eyebrow to that then pulled Kaoru closer as if to protect him from Hikaru.

"were cool now" Hikaru yawned. "Kaoru look at that" Tamaki pointed to the half dressed Hikaru standing before them.

Kaoru's eyes wondered all over Hikaru's body until in Kaoru's mind those blue boxers were gone.

Kaoru blushed wildly and he burried his face into Tamaki's shirt to hide it. Hikaru smirked and turned his back to them. "How improper" tamaki scoffed.

Hikaru smirked "Improper was Kaoru moaning my name so loud yesterday" he smirked as he spoke under his breath. The blond didn't hear what Hikaru said and pulled Koaru close. Kaoru walked slow as he follwed Tamaki into the house.

"He can stay in the guest room" Hikaru looked at Tamaki over his shoulder. "Ill be staying with my fiance" Tamaki hissed.

"Not unless you wanna sleep with me your not" Hikaru chuckeled. Kaoru jumped up in protest knowing Hikaru would keep talking "shut up" Kaoru hissed.

"Very well Kaoru" Hikaru muttered "But….it wont work like this forever" then Hikaru walked up to his room. Kaoru and Tamaki settled in on the couch.

The blond pulled Kaoru into his arms and kissed his forehead "are you okay my love you look so shaken" the blond smiled softly touching Kaoru's face. "Im okay its just the funeral has be a bit shaken is all" Kaoru whispered feeling low for using his dad as an excuse to cover up his dirty lie.

Tamaki kissed kaoru leaving that bitter taste Kaoru didn't like on his lips. Hikaru walked past the room and ignored the couple on the couch. Kaoru wouldn't meet the blonds eyes with his….tamaki knew something was wrong.

"your hiding something from me" the blond whispered "what is it"

"Nothing" Kaoru sighed kissing his cheek as he walked into the room Hikaru was resting on a couch in. "Hikaru" he whispered. Hikaru looked up at him "hm"

"what do you want me to do" Kaoru asked softly taking a seat next to Hikaru who was now wearing jeans and a black hoodie.

"Kaoru you cant have us both you cant love us both you have to choose is it hard" Hikaru muttered glaring at his twin.

"It is hard" Kaoru hissed. "How so" Hikaru started at him waiting for his answer. "No matter what I do someone gets hurt" Koaru whispered as his eyes filled with tears.

Hikaru realized he'd been selfish and pulled Kaoru close so Kaoru's head rested against his chest. Hikaru rested his hand on Kaoru''s head and ran his fingers through his hair "sh…sh…sh…im sorry Kaoru…im sorry" he whispered.

Koaru wrapped his arms around his brother's waist as if he'd never let go "I don't know anymore….i don't know what to do anymore" he sobbed.


	12. after tonight

The wedding was getting closer it was barly three days away now. Kaoru was going crazy. In three days he might never see his twin again…..he'd never see his lover again.

Kaoru was sitting on the front porch again. He looked to the door and sighed as he remembered being pushed up against it. He closed his hazel eyes and remembered the kisses and tender touches that followed being pushed against it.

"Kaoru" His eyes snapped open "tono" he whispered. "what are you thinking about" Tamaki smiled softly. "N-nothing" Kaoru muttered. "Must be something to get you so hard" Tamaki laughed softly more to himself then to Kaoru.

Kaoru's face turned bright red….he needed to distract Tono from that little problem so he slammed his lips down on to the blonds.

Tamaki pulled him close and shoved his tongue into Kaoru's mouth.

That bitter taste was now everywhere and Koaru hated it. He pulled away "love you" Tamaki smiled. Kaoru nodded then he stood and walked back into the house.

Hikaru smiled when he saw the buldge in Kaoru's jeans "thinking of me" he smirked. "No" Kaoru lied. Hikaru pushed him against the wall and kissed him.

Kaoru moved his lips urgantly against his twins and he thrust his tongue into hikaru's mouth.

Hikaru smiled and kissed him back. Then Hikaru lifted Koaru up so his legs wound around Hikaru's waist. "What if he see's us" Kaoru whispered "we'll just tell him the truth" Hikaru smirked. "what truth that ive been screwing my brother all weak" Kaoru hissed.

"No that your brothers been fucking your brains out and rocking your world far more then he ever will in less then a weak" Hikaru shoved his lips down onto Kaoru's.

Hikaru's kiss tasted sweet not bitter like Tamaki's. Kaoru didn't like Hikaru's sick humor but it was true what Hikaru had said.

Tamaki had never made kaoru feel so loved in the years they'd been togther….but Hikaru had made him feel so much emotion in less then a weak it was overwelming.

Their room of choice was the guest room this time and it was over fast.

Tamaki walked upstairs to the guest room and smiled when he opened the door.

Kaoru was fast asleep and nakek in the bed.

Tamaki had no idea why Kaoru was as he was but he liked the look of Kaoru's bare body glistening in the moon light shining in the window.

Hikaru walked by as Tamaki was getting hard off the image before him.

That ticked Hikaru off he fought back the urge to punch Tamai in the face.

"leave him alone" Hikaru hissed. "he's my fiance" Tamaki hissed back "I have a right to him". Hikaru shoved Tamaki into the wall gripping his shoulders "He's nobody's property" he growled.

Tamaki almost looked scared. "whats your relashinship with him" Tamaki whispered in shock.

"Your aware I used to hurt him" Hikaru let tamaki go. Then he walked in and sat down on the ledge of the bed Kaoru was asleep on.

Hikaru smiled and covered him up and brushed his finger tips against Kaoru's pale cheek.

Tamaki didn't really catch it but kaoru muttered the word Hikaru in his sleep and kissed Hikaru's fingers as they moved over his lips.

"Goodnight" Hikaru smiled as he left the room. Tamaki didn't understand what had just happened right in front of him….he thought Hikaru was being nice and tucking Kaoru in but it made no difference…the wedding was still only two days away after tonight.


	13. i remember all you did to me

Kaoru started to sweat and toss and turn in his sleep and he fell into a nightmare….more like a memory really.

FLASHBACK…

Age…12

"Kaoru" Hikaru laughed as Kaoru fell into the mud at the park. Kaoru's hands balled into fists and he glared at Hikaru. "Oh look he's mad" Hikaru chuckled as 2 boys about their age walked up behind him.

"Do you hate me Kaoru, show me you little sissy" Hikaru smirked. Kaoru looked away from him. Kaoru stared into Hikaru's eyes….he wasn't going to give him what he wanted.

He wasn't going to lie either….he considered not saying anything…..but it wouldn't hold for long. "I DON'T HATE YOU" Kaoru yelled at the top of his lungs. Hikaru froze "what" he gasped in some sort of shock. "I DON'T HATE YOU, YOU'RE MY TWIN FOR CRIST SAKE I COULDN'T HATE YOU, NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO TO ME" Koaru continued to yell as loud as he could.

This didn't make Hikaru happy he wanted Kaoru to say he hated him…..he didn't want him to love him….he didn't wanna be on the same level as tamaki to Kaoru. "Lets go" he hissed turning his back on his brother as it started to rain.

Kaoru sighed and looked up at the gary clouds rolling in. "hey" tamaki smiled. The blond helped him to his feet. "You okay" Tamaki whispered. "yeah he didn't hit me this time" Koaru smiled softly.

FlashBack over….

Kaoru turned over restlessly in the bed again…

FlashBack…..

Age 7…

"Kaoru lets play hide and seek" Hikaru smirked. "No Hikaru I always g-get hurt when I play with you" Kaoru scoffed holding his little teddybear close to him. Hikaru softend the look on his face "come on Kao Kao please" he begged. "forget it ru ru" Kaoru mocked his voice.

"I'll be more careful I promise" Hikaru swore. Kaoru raised an eyebrow he wanted to trust Hikaru he was his twin after all…."swear" Kaoru held out his tiny pinky. "swear" Hikaru gently wrapped his small pinky around Kaoru's indentical one.

"Im seeking this time" Kaoru muttered. Hikaru smiled "Okay kao kao" then he took off as kaoru started to count to ten. When he got to ten he called out "r-ready or not ru ru here I c-come" the stammering seven year old started to walk up the steps dragging his teddy bear in one hand behind him.

He qickly shrank back when he saw how dark it was up stairs. Hikaru had turned off all the lights. "Hikaru that not f-fair…you know im scared of the dark" Kaoru whined.

"Kaoru's a cry baby " he heard his brother sing from down the dark hall. "I am not" kaoru yelled. "then come find me" Hikaru smirked into the darkness. "I…I will" Kaoru started down the dark hall on shaking legs.

When he walked up to the closet he though Hikaru was in he opened it up. It was dark inside but Hikaru wasn't inside. A hand flew up over Kaoru's mouth from behind. Kaoru screamed and ran toward the steps. Hikaru chased him and as kaoru got to the platform at the top of the steps Hikaru shoved him down them….

….

Little seven year old Kaoru woke up in a hospital bed not to long after. He'd been hit on the head on his way down the steps and he'd broken his arm.

Hikaru and his mom were sitting by his bedside. Hikaru looked like he'd been crying his eyes were red and puffy. Even now Kaoru dosnt know why Hikaru was crying then. Mrs Hitachiin kissed her son's forehead and Kaoru smiled "Ill be okay"

FlashBack over….

Kaoru bolted up out of bed and pulled his knees against his barechest. And started to tremble a bit. He hadnt thought back on these thing in a long time….not since he'd started to fall for Hikaru. He could still remember it all like it all happened just moments ago.

He remebered the names Hikaru called him…the things Hikaru said…and times he'd been beat up and all the laughs Hikaru got from it.

This was why he was with tamaki now and not his brother….hikaru didn't love him….he was just his little fuck-toy. This al hit Kaoru again like it did before….but this time it hurt worse for some reason….no

He knew that reason….Kaoru knew it hurt more because he was stupid enough to think Hikaru had changed.

People don't change….they fake changes….so fool idiots into forgiving them for the horrible things they did in the past. Kaoru didn't go back to sleep that night. He got up when the sun was almost all the way in the sky again. Tomarrow he and Tamaki would be leaving and then the day after that…getting married.

Like it should have been.

HIKARU'S POV

"MOM" I called. She looked up from her book. "where's Kaoru" I smiled. "I havtn seen him" she smiled back. Then she patted the spot next to her with her hand telling em to come sit with her.

I did. "Honey….i love you both and I want what makes you happy I know how you feel about your brother" she whispered. I nodded "I know and your okay with it" I asked softly raising an eyebrow.

"I'll have to be Hikaru, I cant change who you fall for sweetie but not everyone else will except it I still don't but I cant help it and I don't want a romeo and juliet sitiuation here okay" he smiled an angels smile and kissed my cheek.

Mom always had a way of making me feel better. I walked up the steps and realized the guest room door was still closed.

NORMAL POV

Hikaru tapped on it lightly and heard nothing. He opened it to a frightening site.

His beloved twin was huddled into a corner shaking tramatically with his knees pressed against his bare chest and his thin arms wrapped around them. Everything around him seemed to be drenched in this dark sadness.

Hikaru rushed to his side and forced kaoru's head up so he could see his eyes. Hikaru shrank back. Kaoru's eyes werent filled with sadness or joy or tears….or anything….they were blank and seemed souless. This pain rushed through Hikaru…some how he knew this was in some way his fault.

He pulled Kaoru into his arms "Kaoru come on I love you talk to me" he begged.

"do you?" Kaoru's voice was as emotionless and as blank as his eyes.

He seemed hollow.

"Of course" Hikaru whispered pulling him close.

"Your only mad I wont be around for you to screw arent you?" Kaoru's hollow voice hurt Hikaru deeply.

"I know I used you in the past but Kaoru that was then this is now" Hikaru explained or tried anyway.

"I don't believe you" Kaoru's words were harsh and clear then he stood and left the room leaving Hikaru to sit and stare at the wall.


	14. dose this feel right in your head Kaoru

_Hikaru walked downstairs and when he passed by the doorway to the living room he noticed Kaoru and Tamaki cuddling on the couch. Hikaru stared at them from the doorway._

_He hated the way Kaoru was curled up next to that idiot of a blond. Hikaru barely even saw Tamaki all of his attention was focused on Kaoru, who looked beautiful with the wind from the fan washing over him, blowing his gorgeous auburn hair around his strikingly fair skin._

_Hikaru put a hand up to the doorframe and tried to catch his balance, he really hated not being the one on the couch._

_Kaoru looked so breathtakingly stunning that Hikaru had a hard time thinking straight. He was snapped back to reality when he remembered that the beautiful creature curled up next to the blond on the couch was extremely pissed with him. "K-Kaoru" Hikaru choked the name out of the back of his throat._

_Kaoru looked up and the blank empty expression returned to his face. "So we're back to that." Hikaru muttered as Kaoru untangled himself from Tamaki before standing up from the couch, then he walked over to Hikaru. The younger red head crossed his arms over his chest in a very defensive manner. Seeing Kaoru standing right in front of him made thinking very hard. Especially since Kaoru was wearing a blue t-shirt, which he KNEW was Hikaru's favorite color. Did he do it on purpose?_

_Kaoru cleared his throat and shot Hikaru a pointed look, causing Hikaru to snap back to reality again. "Kaoru I'm asking you to think back on the time we've spent together this week…do you think it was all a sham? I was a virgin for Christ's sake and I wouldn't have gone that far if I didn't truly love you Kaoru!" Hikaru yelled._

_Tamaki started to stand up and opened his mouth to protest at Hikaru yelling at his fiancée. Hikaru heard Tamaki clear his throat and proceeded to send a look over Kaoru's shoulder at Tamaki that even Kyoya would envy. Tamaki sat back down said nothing. _

_Kaoru's eyes kept that same annoying blank look. "Yes Hikaru I know that." He kept his voice the way it was before, hollow and empty._

_"Then why do you think I'm lying to you?" Hikaru's voice was pouring emotion out and increasing in volume with every word._

_"It can't make up for all you've done to me" Kaoru muttered under his breath._

_"You think back on this week right now and tell me you think I don't love you!" Hikaru hissed through his teeth._

_Kaoru rolled his eyes…then he looked to the floor. "It's true… in one week I fell in love with you despite what you did." Kaoru let some emotion slip that time but he quickly covered it up by returning to his hollow emotionless voice._

_Hikaru pushed him against the wall and stared into his eyes. It didn't matter if Kaoru made his eyes appear soulless and it didn't matter how much they scared him; he refused to look away, he knew the Kaoru he loved was still in there._

_"You're scared to admit you love me aren't you?" Hikaru whispered once he finally found the true Kaoru in his eyes._

_Suddenly there was emotion flashing in the forefront of Kaoru's beautiful honey colored eyes. "That's not true I already admitted I loved you you're crazy!" Kaoru said just above an angry whisper….so Tamaki wouldn't hear them; he was still on the couch across the room but is still shocked from Hikaru's glare a moment ago and has no idea whats going on. _

_Hikaru glanced over at the couch, before pulling Kaoru around the corner and into the hallway, smirking "You won't look me in the eyes and say it….because it would be against your better judgment, huh? You can't do anything unless it seems right in your head." Hikaru hissed._

_"Fuck you, you bastard!" Kaoru raised a hand to slap Hikaru, but his wrist was caught in a vice-like grip by Hikaru, who was smirking. "Does this feel right in your head?" Hikaru pinned the hand he held in own to the wall and gently kissed Kaoru._

_Hikaru knew the effect he had on his baby brother now, Kaoru was melting like butter on a hot stove. He pulled away and smiled. "It's not right in your head is it?" He whispered._

_Kaoru shook his head "But…"_

_Hikaru cut him off "But it feels to good to deny the truth, doesn't' it?" he smiled softly while he ran his finger tips down Kaoru's pale cheek, admiring every inch of the strikingly fair skin he touched._

_"Yeah" Kaoru whispered, this time his voice was filled with emotion and love. "I keep falling for you and I don't even want to!" Kaoru shook his head as if trying to shake out his emotions. Hikaru tilted his brother's head up and smiled down on the perfect creature looking back at him._

_Kaoru was too beautiful….in Hikaru's eyes he was perfect…..then his eyes caught something. There was a black and blue bruise underneath his wispy bangs._

_With his fingers tips Hikaru pushed his twins bangs aside and stared at the mark "How'd that happen?" Hikaru whispered with a certain aggression in his tone._

_"I…f-fell" Kaoru stammered as he tried to pull away from Hikaru._

_"Don't lie to me!" Hikaru hissed angrily._


	15. one more night as my lover

"Hikaru, I wouldn't lie about this, okay?" Kaoru smiled reassuringly at Hikaru before pulling himself away from Hikaru and heading up the stairs to their bedroom. He had completely forgotten about Tamaki, who still sat waiting on the couch.

Hikaru still didn't believe that Kaoru was telling him the entire truth. It took Hikaru a moment to realize that Kaoru had gone."Kaoru!" Hikaru yelled as he ran up to the bedroom.

Tamaki heard Kaoru shout, but by the time he reached the doorway the twins had vanished. Tamaki shook his head in frustration. What was going on?

Hikaru reached his bedroom and burst through the door, a horrible sight awaited him, his twin lay stretched out across the bed, crying into one of Hikaru's red satin pillows. Hikaru walked over to him and as he did so he learned something new about himself, he now felt pain, not triumph, when Kaoru was in pain. Hikaru sat down on the edge of the bed and reached over to touch Kaoru.

He rested a caring hand on Kaoru's shaking shoulder. "Why are you crying?" He whispered.

"Hikaru…" he sobbed, before suddenly throwing himself at Hikaru. Kaoru sobbed into Hikaru's shirt, his fingers were clinging to the cloth. "I love you…" He sobbed harder as he said this and his body trembled. "I don't care what happened back then!" He sobbed more and more into my shirt with each word.

I pulled him closer, if that was even possible, and softly stroked his hair. "I don't love Tamaki, I love you…and we can't be together….b-because it's j-just too late to back out now."

"Kaoru, we can stop this, you've still got tonight here, we can st-" Kaoru cut him off.

"I have one more night to be with the one I really love." Kaoru dried his tears with his wrist.

"I don't want to spend it making stupid attempts to undo what can't be undone….I can't just back out on him now…..not two days before the wedding….although I'd gladly do it for you, I just can't…it just wouldn't be fair to him-" Hikaru cut him off.

"I understand….just spend one last night with me as your lover, please Kaoru." Hikaru smiled softly.

"Of course." Kaoru took Hikaru's hand in his and kissed each knuckle. Hikaru smiled and kissed his cheek. A little while later they crept downstairs, after making sure Tamaki was in the guest room they snuck outside.

"Where are we going?" Kaoru whispered.

"You'll see." Hikaru winked at him and they walked slowly down to a beautiful grove. Kaoru looked around amazed with the beauty of this place. The whole grove was surrounded by Sakura trees and in the center of it all was a beautiful lake with the moonlight shining down on it.

Kaoru looked up at the sky and saw so many stars "It's beautiful." Kaoru whispered.

Hikaru pulled his lover into his arms and smiled as Kaoru's eyes danced around as he tried to take in all of the beauty found in the grove, from the trees, to the stars, to the smallest lightning bug. He loved how Kaoru looked at anything like it was the most special thing in the entire world…that was part of the reason Hikaru loved him.

It made Hikaru feel like he was worth something when Kaoru's eyes laid their gaze on him. Once their eyes met Hikaru felt drawn into a kiss with Kaoru; it was unlike any of their previous kisses. This one was soft and sweet. Like the touch of a butterfly upon a flower. Kaoru felt like the most loved flower in the entire world.

Even if no one else would ever understand it, even if this was wrong, this moment was right and their love was real. The tender touch of Hikaru's lips on Kaoru's was more real than Kaoru's wedding to Tamaki two days hence.

The kiss lasted for a moment longer, before they pulled back and stared into each other's eyes. Hikaru was panting as he searched Kaoru's eyes for the answer to the question shining in his own. When he found it he smiled and leaned in to kiss Kaoru again.

This kiss was different from the first one; Hikaru claimed Kaoru's mouth as if he was trying to leave a permanent impression of himself on Kaoru, despite the fact that they already were impressions of each other. This kiss was made up of pure passion. Hikaru wanted to leave a mark on Kaoru that Tamaki could never erase.

A few moments later they were lying in the grass, completely naked. As their tongues danced they knew that this was the only time and place in the entire world that mattered.

Up in the guest room, Tamaki sat by the window. He had seen Kaoru and Hikaru sneak out of the house. Tamaki hung his head in his hands and tried to tell himself that they were merely having one last brotherly escapade before Kaoru became a married man


	16. the wedding

Kaoru woke up the next morning due to the sun shining down on his bare body. He was trapped in his lover's arms. Kaoru smiled at how beautiful Hikaru looked with his eyes closed every so perfectly with his long eyelashes casting shadows on his pale cheeks and the sun caught in his auburn hair. Kaoru giggled and licked his cheek.

"Wake up beautiful." He smiled softly. Hikaru's eyes opened "There's no way its morning." Hikaru muttered closing his eyes again. Oh, it was morning all right. Kaoru pulled away from Hikaru's warm embrace and looked out over the water.

The sun was shining down on it, making it shimmer beautifully. He stared at it for a moment before mentally smacking himself…he and Tamaki were leaving today.

Kaoru climbed over to Hikaru who was still asleep in the grass. "Baby, wake up." Kaoru's voice shook as he spoke. Hikaru's eyes popped open when he heard his lovers shaken tone. Hikaru sat up and rested his hand on Kaoru's shoulder. "We have to get home now." Kaoru whispered.

Hikaru's eyes widened, he knew what Kaoru meant now. The two of them got redressed and snuck into the house through the back door. Tamaki was waiting for them and instantly caught Kaoru in a tight embrace. Kaoru wrapped his arms around his waist.

It wasn't real….it wasn't love….he wasn't Hikaru.

This wasn't right. Kaoru looked up at Tamaki and gave him a soft peck on the lips. Again the kiss was bitter and he didn't like the taste. Kaoru excused himself and walked up the steps and into his room to pack.

"You're really leaving" Hikaru pushed the bedroom door open "After all that, you're still going to leave".

Kaoru choked back a sob. "Yes, Hikaru, I'm leaving, you weren't going to coax me out of it with sex. Sorry, it just doesn't work that way" Kaoru tossed some of his clothes into his suitcase.

"What am I going to do without you" Hikaru walked up behind him.

"You lived without me for six years….you can do without me now." Kaoru continued to pack not turning to face his brother's eyes….he was scared of whatever expression was on Hikaru's fair features.

"Please, you've been around me shirtless enough to have seen the scars on my wrists….I didn't even know what to do without you then, except tell myself I didn't need you. Kaoru, I love you….if you leave I don't know what I'll do." Hikaru's arms wound around Kaoru's slender waist.

Kaoru turned to face him and as he rested his head against his big brother's chest his arms wrapped themselves around Hikaru's neck "I love you too….and I don't know what I'll do either Hikaru" Kaoru whispered and in his eyes Hikaru could see how scared his brother really was.

Hikaru placed one more soft kiss on Kaoru's lips "Remember this, I left my mark on you last night….he can't erase that, ever…..and nothing he can do could ever change my feelings for you my love" Hikaru smiled softly.

Kaoru looked up at him through his eyelashes "I love you to Hikaru." Kaoru gave him another hug.

Just at that moment Tamaki walked in and grabbed Kaoru by the wrist "We need to talk on the way home dear." He said in a slightly harsh tone. Once in the limo Kaoru stared out the window and tried to ignore everything that Tamaki was saying.

"What happened between the two of you last night?" Tamaki whispered "Be honest and I won't be mad, I promise." he insisted. Kaoru eyed him for a second then he rested his head on Tamaki's shoulder.

"You want to know?" Kaoru whispered.

"Yeah, I do, I saw you run off last night." Tamaki whispered lifting Kaoru's chin so he could look into those gentle hazel eyes.

What came out of Kaoru's mouth Tamaki never thought he'd hear. "We fucked each other's brains out." Kaoru hissed turning back to the window.

Tamaki had never heard Kaoru say anything like that before and he was shocked. "Kaoru!" Tamaki hissed.

Kaoru turned around, "What?" he growled.

"Well, you won't be seeing him again so it's no longer a problem" Tamaki said pointedly.

Kaoru's eyes started to overflow with tears. Tamaki ignored him knowing he'd be pushed away if he tried to help. It was better to leave him for now.

Kaoru sobbed into his hands, he'd never see Hikaru again.

_**With Hikaru**__**  
**_Hikaru was in the middle of trashing his room. He'd already thrown the computer and ripped the pillows to shreds, he'd also busted the head of the bed.

He threw a lamp that was sitting on a nightstand. He froze when he heard something that wasn't the lamp shatter. He turned and laid his gaze on a picture in a shattered frame on the floor. It was a middle school picture mom had taken of him and Kaoru.

She'd made Hikaru wrap his arms around Kaoru and she'd forced them both to smile. Hikaru picked the picture up and he set it gently down on the nightstand.

The door opened and Mrs. Hitachiin walked in, her head was bowed slightly "I'll get a maid to clean up." She whispered and then she was gone.

Hikaru walked over to Kaoru's old room and lay down in a bed that still smelled like Kaoru. He closed his eyes and the sweet scent of strawberries over took him and he fell asleep.

What do you know, he had a dream about Kaoru and he getting married even if it could never happen, Hikaru didn't want to wake up from that beautiful dream.

XXXXXX with Kaoru….next day

Kaoru stared at himself in a large mirror. He was wearing a long white kimono with silver designs all up it. It was tight at the waist. Yes he looked beautiful, stunning even.

The white went well with his fair skin and naturally pink lips but there was no life is his normally gentle eyes.

"In a moment you're going to have to go in there and say you love him" Kaoru whispered to the reflection in the mirror "After that…after that…" A maid came in and interrupted Kaoru's thoughts. It was time. When Kaoru made his way to Tamaki's side it hurt to move.

He didn't want to do this, not even a little anymore. Kaoru stood there but his heart wasn't in it with him.

Kaoru's POV

"Will you take Tamaki to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?" I heard the man I just didn't know what to say.

"Kaoru" Tamaki whispered.

"Oh…I…I..." I didn't want to say anything at all "I do" and it was done. I was Tamaki's. Hikaru would never hold or touch me again. A little while later, after pictures, I climbed into the limo next to my new husband and looked up at him.

He smirked at me "We'll be at the hotel soon and I'll take your mind off him." He laid his lips down on mine. I jerked my head back and stared out the window.

We pulled into the hotel. I walked right up to the room we'd be staying in and it was a honeymoon suite of course. It was all pink and hearts.

I sat down on the large bed and looked around. I wanted to gag.

Tamaki walked in unbuttoning his shirt and taking it off. My eyes grew wide.

There was no way I was going to….no way. He climbed up on top of me. His kiss wasn't like Hikaru's I didn't like it.

He started trying to get my kimono off "NO!" I hissed.

"What! It's fine with your brother but not your husband?" He growled.

The tears started to fall from my eyes. "I LOVE HIM!" I cried out. Tamaki froze for a moment and sat up.

"We'll do this another time then." He scoffed as he got up and walked over to the shower.

I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them.

I did all I could do…I cried….I cried for Hikaru.


	17. the ring he lost

Kaoru found it impossible to sleep. Tamaki lay right next to him, his bare body was bathed in moonlight. Kaoru the complete opposite, he was fully dressed in sweats and a tank top.

He stretched his arm out and stared at the new ring Tamaki had to buy because Kaoru had "lost" his.

This wasn't the same feeling he had when he slept next to Hikaru….he didn't feel safe….he didn't feel loved. Tamaki turned over restlessly. Kaoru finally found sleep just as the sun was preparing to rise.

Yet the sleep was not peaceful. He sobbed and cried out in his sleep half expecting to feel Hikaru's arms around him and protect him from this horrible nightmare. He wanted Hikaru to tell him that he'd never left the house or married the blond.

Hikaru wasn't sleeping well either, in fact he was tossing and turning, the room felt cold and lonely without Kaoru in it. He reached across the bed and rustled the cold sheets where his lover and brother had laid but a few nights earlier.

"Kaoru." he breathed softly. The red head sat up and looked around his empty room. "I wonder if he feels any better laying next to Tamaki." He whispered to himself as he stared out of the window.

Kaoru rocked himself back and forth trying to calm himself after his bad dream. Tamaki wasn't waking up, despite the sun shining brightly around the curtains, and there was no one to comfort Kaoru as he cried.

The younger Hitachiin got up and left the hotel room wearing his red and dark green plaid sweat pants and his black boy tank top. Kaoru was in France again….although his heart was left in Japan.

Hikaru got up and left wearing his knee length orange shorts and a blue T-shirt. The older Hitachiin boy walked down the steps and outside. For what seemed like hours he wandered aimlessly.

Little did Hikaru know that Kaoru was wandering the early morning streets of the town while he wandered the moonlight area around his home.

Kaoru stopped at a street light and rested his hand against it. He had no idea where he was….he knew he was cold, he knew he was scared, and he knew it was dark…..but more than anything….he knew he missed Hikaru.

Hikaru finally snapped back into his right mind and when he looked around he realized he knew where he had wandered….the grove.

The lake was shimmering in the moonlight. Then Hikaru's gaze fell on another shimmer….it didn't look like a rock or a pebble.

The red head knelt over on his knees and picked up what had been shimmering on the rocks by the lake. Hikaru held the tiny object in his hand. He chuckled a bit once he realized what it was….it was Kaoru's engagement ring, he hadn't lost it….he'd thrown it in the water.

Hikaru stood and stared at the ring for a moment, attempting to pour all of his hate and anger into it.. It symbolized that idiots love for his Kaoru.

Kaoru hadn't thrown it far. So Hikaru threw it into the depths of the dark water near the center of the lake.

Kaoru was still wandering, lost in his own thoughts, when he realized he had reached the airport.

Kaoru shook his head "At least I can figure out where I am now." he whispered.

Somehow he knew he was supposed to board a plane and find his way to Hikaru.

He knew he couldn't even so….he was married now….Hikaru was a thing of the past now….like before.

Hikaru looked out over the water….he used to find it so beautiful, but lately it was just a pool of water….in comparison to Kaoru that is.

Kaoru made everything that wasn't him seem trivial in his twins eyes….including food, water, and air….all trivial when compared to the bright eyed red head Hikaru called his lover.

Kaoru walked over to a payphone in the airport and called Tamaki.

"Where are you I was worried?" The blond hissed. Kaoru looked around "I'm at the Volée Airport" Kaoru whispered.

"That's like a half hour away how'd you end up there" Tamaki was flipping out.

"I don't know." Kaoru said truthfully.

"I'm on my way" Tamaki sighed before hanging up.

Kaoru sighed as well and sat down. Almost an hour had gone by and Tamaki wasn't there yet. A few young girls had stopped to flirt with the younger Hitachiin boy while their parents were buying tickets.

Kaoru didn't understand what was taking the blond so long…..Tamaki seemed to know where he was….so why wasn't he here already?


	18. dont say anything at all

Kaoru looked around the airport….where was Tamaki?

This feeling of abandonment washed through him and made him feel as if he were gonna cry.

The younger Hitachiin stood and walked over to the bathroom. He walked in and stared into the mirror.

"It's okay Tamaki might have been held up but he's coming" Kaoru told himself softly. He stared into the reflection and touched his fingers to their reflection "Hikaru" he whispered.

Then he backed up realizing he needed to stop thinking of his almost lover.

Kaoru walked back to the seat he was waiting in before. It looked like a plane had just landed. People were getting off and running into the arms of their families, loved ones and siblings.

Kaoru smiled softly when he saw two identical boys embrace one another after one got off the plane. "God where is Tamaki" he muttered under his breath looking to his feet.

The air port was starting to force thoughts of his brother on him.

"Kaoru" he heard a familiar voice. "Tono" the little red head looked up and was shocked when he saw two golden eyes staring into his.

"Why ya looking for Tamaki, I'm here" Hikaru smirked. Kaoru threw his arms around Hikaru's neck and pulled his brother close.

"Hikaru what are you doing here" Kaoru whispered as tears of joy filled his eyes.

"Your idiot called me and told me to take you back to Japan with me, he said all he wanted was for you to always be happy" Hikaru wrapped his arms around Kaoru's slender waist.

"That's it…then I'm going back with you" kaoru smiled softly staring into Hikaru's eyes.

"He also said he'd kick my ass if I hurt you….but yeah your coming home love" Hikaru trailed his finger tips down Kaoru's cheek admiring his beautiful warm skin.

"You don't have to be alone or scared anymore" Hikaru kissed his cheek.

Kaoru who was normally so shy didn't care that they were surrounded by people or what those people would think….he slammed his lips down on to Hikaru's.

Hikaru kissed back instantly and slipped his tongue into Kaoru's mouth.

The whole airport was staring.

A mother covered her little eight year old girls eyes…the child shook free and looked up at her mom "we need to have twin boys" she grinned.

The woman stared at her daughter with a 'hell no' look in her eyes.

Kaoru pulled away and smiled at Hikaru. The next flight back to Japan wouldn't be for about another two hours.

Kaoru took note of the bag in his brother's hand "what's that" kaoru whispered looking at it.

"A blanket…the blond said you'd been out all morning and it was cold so….I figured I'd bring it" Hikaru shrugged sitting down where kaoru was waiting when he showed up.

He pulled his younger twin into his lap and wrapped the blue throw over blanket around his shoulders. Kaoru rested his head against Hikaru's chest and his eyes closed.

Hikaru smiled at his lover who looked like an angel straight from heaven as he slept there like that.

Hikaru brushed fondly at his twin's bangs with his fingers then he watched every perfect strand fall back into place.

Kaoru woke up alone in a king sized bed. He forced himself to sit up and look around the dark room.

For a moment he wanted to cry thinking the airport had all been a beautiful dream….but no…he knew this room….it was Hikaru's room.

His eyes widened as he heard the door creek open.

His mirror image walked in with a cup of what looked like hot tea.

"I was worried you'd gotten sick" Hikaru whispered sitting down on the ledge of the bed.

"You'd been sleeping so long" Hikaru smiled resting a hand on the side of his face.

Kaoru smiled up at his twin softly "can we be together now" his voice was soft and hopeful.

Hikaru smiled and laid his lips down on his twins "yes" his said softly…"forever".

"Until one of us dies" Kaoru whispered.

"Until the end of all time….ill love you forever" Hikaru promised.

"The past is in the past" kaoru breathed, his warm breath making Hikaru's eyes fill with lust.

"you talk too much" Hikaru whispered. "What?" kaoru raised an eyebrow.

Hikaru pushed him to the bed "don't say anything at all…not unless it's my name" Hikaru's voice was lust filled and loving.

Kaoru giggled cutely and wrapped his arms around Hikaru's neck "How about I love you Hikaru"

"I love you to" and he sealed the gap between them with a kiss.


End file.
